The other day my friend posted a quote on instagram that got me thinking. It said this, “What Sussie says of Sally says more of Sussie than of Sally”. Essentially what this is saying is that judgement of a person does not define the person but rather the one doing the judging.
I think that with out realising, I have fallen into the trap of judging others. But not only am I guilty of judging I am guilty of worrying about the judgement of others toward me. I often become consumed at the thoughts of others that I am left maimed, with time wasted and the life sapped from me like a moaning child would sap it’s mothers strength.
I know nothing except what everyone knows.
If there when grace dances, I should dance”
– W.H. Auden
Here are some of my thoughts surrounding the notion of grace and judgement.
1. “Hurting people hurt people”. If I am judging others it means that there is hidden hurt, emptiness or issues in me. Perhaps it’s jealousy, insecurity, selfishness- whatever it is, being ungracious toward others will only harm me.
2. People are far too busy worrying about themselves to remember my issues. We think that people care about our issues but they are actually far more concerned about their own. There’s no point in being consumed with worry over what others might think.
3. If I was perfect then I would have no need for God or growth as a person. Striving for perfection and feeling like a failure when I don’t attain it is exhausting. Expecting perfection in others is unrealistic.
4. Not everyone is going to like me. If we were all the same and had all the same interests and passions life would be very boring.
5.”A rich mans heart may be under a poor man’s coat”- Scottish Proverb. Each person has their own point of reference, their own set of parents, strengths, weaknesses their own struggles.
Oh momentary grace of mortal men,
which we more hunt for than the grace of God.
– William Shakespeare
I once read a beautiful book called “Whats so Amazing About Grace” by Philip Yancey. I will never forget the opening story. It was about a prostitute he encountered that was renting out her two-year-old daughter to men interested in kinky sex as an attempt to support her drug habit. Her child could earn more in an hour than what she could in one night. This woman had hit absolute rock bottom and had nowhere to turn, she was asked, “why didn’t you go to the church for help?” Her response was that of naive shock, “Church!” she cried, “why would I ever go there? I was already feeling terrible about myself, they would only make me feel worse”. In the bible Jesus was where the sinners would run to for grace, for forgiveness, for a second chance. It is sad that nowadays some who are in the darkest, most sinful places feel that the church is the last place they would want to run to when in fact Gods heart is for the lost and broken, those needing grace the most.
Oh how I long to hear the sweet sound of grace both in the church and in my own life.