Motherhood

Why I chose no drugs in childbirth

| boncherry

225164_10150178607916891_2588327_nIn response to my previous blog post, a good friend of mine, who is an anaesthetist, asked what my reason behind not taking pain medication or having an epidural when giving birth was?

I have nothing against epidurals at all and in fact with Mila I asked for one.

What happened was, it failed dismally. It only worked on one half of my body and so I was left in agony, pinned to a bed, feeling as if I was being stabbed in the side. I had no ability to stand or control my pain as the midwife kept rolling me from side to side (whilst bringing me gas).  I remember looking at her with a venomous eye and saying, “will I be paying half price for this epidural, or the full price?”

After hours of pain the irritable anesthetist was then called back just before it was time for me to push.  He dosed me with so much anesthetic that when I did push… I couldn’t.  I felt as if I was pushing my eyes out of their sockets and my brain through the top of my head.  My floppy legs felt separated from my body and I had no control. I felt as if the epidural prolonged my labour (labour was 27 hours in total) and after the birth I had to wait most of day with a catheter attached before I could get up and walk.

This experience was what gave me a desire to try it without and to explore the more natural route.  I figured, if I had control over my pain and could walk and breath through contractions then it would be far better… and it was!  Not only that, I believe that the prolonging of the labour as a result of the epidural had a negative affect on Mila at birth as she was completely exhausted and therefore limp when she came out.  The doctor’s had to suction her nose and rub her ferociously in order to get her to cry.

With Sam I chose to go without an epidural and it was quick and seamless. Yes of coarse it was painful, but not nearly as painful as it was when is was localised to one half of me. I also knew that I had to control myself.  I didn’t want to complain or scream through the pain as I had chosen to go without the drugs- it was a decision I had made.  Screaming would ruin the experience for everyone around me and it would be a sign of me loosing control.  As soon as I had given birth, I held and breastfed Samuel for 2 hours with skin to skin contact and then got up and helped Dylan give him his first bath.

So to answer my friends question- I wouldn’t want to go the epidural route again.  The pain of the epidural was far worse than going without it and having control over my body and mind is far more appealing.  There was a sense of peace and calm that came over me as I contrmplated the fact that God made us to give birth this way. Also, if all of our mothers did it in a self- controlled manner then so can I.

My friend said something interesting and that is that she gets the feeling from some women, that their choice to go without pain medication is more of an emotional choice- where they almost want to be seen as a hero (and so they tell everyone and anyone repeatedly that they had no epidural.)  Perhaps someone in their life had placed this expectation on them, that in order to truly be a woman and “earn your motherhood stripes” as it were, they must go the 100% natural route?  Perhaps this is true for some? Who cares anyway?

There are others, who favour the natural route and would prefer to control the pain as apposed to not having control.  I am also lead to believe that epidurals can slow the process down and I really want nothing more than for it to go quickly for the sake of me and the baby.

There is so much pressure or  “mommy guilt” placed on women these days.  An unspoken pressure for one to do things a certain way, right from conception through to when your child is grown- there will always be many different schools of thought.  For mom’s who have caesar’s and epidurals I have enormous respect and admiration for you.  At the end of the day what is most important is that your baby is safe and that it is prevented from being starved of oxygen or placed under distress at birth, for whatever reason.

My belief is that one should go with ones gut. We are all different. What works for some may not work for others.  We are all in this road together and ought to support one another as apposed to judge.

 

Three things to do when waiting to give birth

| boncherry

There is noting that can quite compare to the feeling of utter suspense when waiting for the arrival of your unborn child.  Every cramp, tightening of the stomach and slight wince of pain immediately catapults you into a world of wonder.  Is it now? When will it be and how long will it take?  Was that wee or my waters breaking?  For those who know when the date is set, I can imagine the suspense is as intense as those who have natural birth.

In my current state of pre-natal tension (I am now 39 weeks pregnant with a slowly calcifying placenta), I thought I would offer some thoughts on what one can do to help curb the expectant anxiety of the moment as well as give one strength in the moment.  Perhaps these thoughts will be more helpful to first time mom’s, especially those wanting to have natural birth?  Having experienced giving natural birth twice before, one with an epidural that went wrong, and one without the pain medication, I feel that I am a lot more equipped for what is to come.  I think back to the first time I gave birth and I somehow wish I knew then what I know now.

My thoughts and advice…

  1. Rest now- mentally, physically and spiritually

The term “nesting” has been so real to me, especially now that I am having my third child and running a business at the same time.  It is almost to the point where I have become slightly obsessive and have needed to truly take a step back and “let go”.

I have re-decordated, re-arranged, re-planned.  I have become a drill sergeant when it comes to the routine that Mila and Sam are in and I have not stopped working.  In the past two weeks I have been to bed at 2am on two occasions in an attempt to complete all the work that I have on my plate prior to my little ones arrival.

I was convicted of this obsessive behaviour when my sister approached me with a scripture that rang true.  The scripture she had for me was from Psalm 127 and speaks of how those who “toil and labour, waking early and staying up late, do so in vain as the Lord is the master builder and he is the one who builds the house”.  It then goes on to speak about how “children are a reward from God, like arrows in the hands of a warrior, are children born in ones youth”.

I have realised that all of my attempts to control every detail of my business and life before this baby arrives are futile and that now is the time to step back and to let God “build this house”, as children are the greatest reward.  This baby is a blessing from heaven and whilst I sleep, God will take care of  and build “my house” for me.

After this revelation of the kindness and care of God toward me I am determined to rest.  He longs to bless us and to show himself strong on our behalf.

2.  Take your time

My labour with Mila lasted 27 hours in total.  I did not know what was going on with my body and what to expect.  Contractions seemed to start and then stop and then start again.  I was overcome with frustration and was left completely confused with regard to what was going to happen next.  I remember walking with Dylan to the ATM at 2am, then going for a brisk walk in the pouring rain later that morning, after having been sent home from the hospital because the contractions had stopped.  I timed contractions to the millisecond but as a result only become more and more anxious and exhausted.

With Sam I knew labour would take a while and so I took my time.  I had a sleep, took deep breaths, read my bible and watched the most magnificent sunrise whilst breathing through contractions in the comfort of my own home.  When it was time to go to the hospital I knew it was time as the pain was intense.  It was almost as if in a state of rest and peace I was able to hear what my body was saying.

My mind was focussed and determined and I knew that all would be ok.  I knew that I needed to remain calm and take control.  I used the time to pray over my baby and to expectantly ask God to reassure me of his love and power.  In this state of mental peace my labour process was accelerated and I was able to give birth without drugs and without even a shriek (only a slap to Dylan’s hand when he attempted to massage my back) …and crazy gasps of gas from the gas machine just prior to the delivery.

For those of you who choose to have an epidural or a caesar- this would not be the case but my first experience of a failed epidural, when I had Mila, caused me to choose to go without one when I had Sam.

3.  Relish every moment.

I am overwhelmed at how fast time flies.  Mila will be 5 years old this year and it feels as if I was walking through the rain to quicken her labour last week!  The last five years are like a blur they have gone so fast.

In my longing for this baby to come I am reminded to capture every moment in my mind and heart and not to let time rush by in a haze.  Focussing my attention on the peripheral things of life- like bills that need to be paid and tasks that need to be completed will only rob from this precious, God ordained time.

To all the moms out there who are about to give birth.  I pray for peace over you.  May you rest knowing that it will be ok.  In a state of calm may you be given wisdom and guidance and a surreal knowledge of what it is you should do when the moment of giving birth comes.  May your birth moment be a powerful, awe-inspiring moment.  A moment of rest, joy and excitement, a moment of unprecedented strength and capacity.

Whether you are drugged up for the pain or not, you can do this!

 

 

 

 

 

A delicious green smoothie recipe, for two (and a half)…

| boncherry

I’ve been asked by a few people to help when it comes to information on healthy eating as a result of the journey I’ve been on, as well as the “searching” I have done.  In response, I’ve decided to share some of the little healthy lifestyle choices I have adopted, on this blog.  To those who have asked, I have a long way to go in terms of being really healthy but anyway, hopefully I can help?

I was recently given the privilege to work on the development of an exciting new health brand, know as Harmonie (which in German means “balance”).  Working with this client has been inspirational.  They have taught me an enormous amount, especially in our time spent unpacking the meaning, purpose and vision of their business in preparation for establishing a name and identity.

In one of our meetings, I asked the question “what do you eat for breakfast?”.  With eloquence and grace, Liesel rattled off a list of green smoothie ingredients that she thought was perhaps “over the top” in terms of quantity but highly beneficial in terms of nutrient value.  This is the kind of smoothie she “throws” together for her family in the mornings.

I retained the information and quickly ran home to give the recipe a try… it was delicious!  I have now adopted this smoothie recipe, along with a few other favourite smoothie recipe’s (I will share them soon), as a part of my morning routine.

After having this smoothie I am left full and satisfied.  I also know that I am giving my growing baby girl (I’m 21 weeks pregnant) all of the nutrients she needs as well.  Oh, and Mila ( four years old) and Samuel (two years old) both love this smoothie too.

In a high-speed blender mix together the following ingredients.  I will mention the benefits of each of these ingredients below the recipe.

SUPER GREEN SMOOTHIE RECIPE

(Serves two – in my case it’s two and a half)

1 teaspoon of barley grass powder

1 tablespoon of coconut oil

2 bananas

1 Avocado

3 dates

1 teaspoon of raw honey

1 kiwi fruit

1 handful of spinach ( mine is freshly picked from my herb garden)

roughly half a cup of filtered water or coconut water (great for adding electrolytes)

Ice (as much as you like)

 

 

THE BENEFITS:

  • Dates: Dates are a good source of various vitamins and minerals. It’s a good source of energy, sugar and fiber. Essential minerals such as calcium, iron, phosphorus, sodium, potassium, magnesium and zinc are found in dates. It also contains vitamins such as thiamin, riboflavin, niacin, folate, vitamin A and vitamin K.  (taken from Organic Facts Blog).
  • Raw Honey: Has anti-viral, anti-bacterial, and anti-fungal properties. It promotes body and digestive health, is a powerful antioxidant, strengthens the immune system, eliminates allergies, and is an excellent remedy for skin wounds and all types of infections.
  • Fresh, raw spinach:   A super food loaded with tons of nutrients. Dark leafy greens like spinach are important for skin and hair, bone health, and provide protein, iron, vitamins and minerals.
  • Coconut oil: The Lauric acid in coconut oil can kill bacteria, viruses and fungi, helping to stave off infection.  Coconut oil can increase your energy expenditure, helping you to burn more fat.  The fatty acids in coconut oil can boost brain function in alzheimer’s patients.  Coconut oil is known to curb hunger and help you lose weight.
  • Avocado: Avocado’s are incredibly nutritious; they contain high levels of potassium; they are loaded with heart-healthy fats and can lower ones cholesterol; they have loads of fibre;  the fat in the avocado helps one to absorb nutrients from plant foods, they contain powerful antioxidants and are a force against cancer.  Believe it or not, they can also aid in weight loss.
  • Banana’s: An amazing source of vitamins, minerals as well as fibre.  They are rich in potassium and great for those doing sport.
  • Kiwi Fruit:  Kiwifruit is an excellent source of vitamin C and vitamin K as well as a very good source of copper and dietary fibre. It is also a good source of vitamin E, potassium, folate, and manganese.
  • Coconut water (or filtered water) Naturally refreshing, coconut water has a sweet, nutty taste. It contains easily digested carbohydrate in the form of sugar and electrolytes (taken from Web MD blog).

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When I start to ponder on the powerful effects of food on our bodies, I cannot help but want to make adjustments to include more goodness in my diet.  The pace of life as a working mother makes it really hard though and so I slip up as a result of poor planning.  I find when I plan well, I eat well and therefore feel well.  I’m sure most people feel the same way?

 

“Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food”- Hypocrites

The easiest cup cakes ever

| boncherry

It was a late Friday afternoon and Mila was begging me to bake a cake.  I decided, in my rather frazzled state, that baking cupcakes would be the quickest and simplest option.  I have a recipe for the easiest cupcakes ever (outside of the pre-mix bought from the shop).

Here it is…

Ingredients: (You’re most likely to have all of these ingredients in your cupboard)

2 Cups of flour

3 t baking powder

125g butter

1t vanilla essence

1 cup sugar

1/2 t salt

2 eggs

1 cup milk

Method:

Sift all dry ingredients together. Add the we ingredients. Beat well for 3 minutes with an electric mixer.  Pour into cup cake cups (I didn’t have any so I went without).  Bake at 200 C for 10-15 minutes. Cool and decorate.

 

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I believe that baking and cooking with my kids should be a priority as they learn so much by being allowed to “get stuck in”.  It’s always a huge mess, but who cares I guess…

May you enjoy amazing moments of discovery with your children as you spend time together in the kitchen, loving, sharing and imparting knowledge.

One day we will look back and say “we never knew we were making memories, we just knew we were having fun”…

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A love letter to my daughter

| boncherry

Dear Mila

Four years ago at 5h10am, after 27 hours of labour and a failed epidural, I gave birth to a miracle- that miracle was you.

My heart almost stopped beating when your limp and tired body was taken from mine.  The nurse was instructed by the doctor to rub you in order to get you to cry.  Hot tears flowed down my cheeks as they suctioned your nose to get you to breath.  When they handed you back to me, your naked skin on mine, I knew my life was changed forever.

You are the delight of my heart.  Each moment I look into your flawless face and dark brown eyes, I stand in awe of a God that is a God of purpose, of intention.  He searched you and he knew you even before you were conceived.  He knew that one day He would create a child that was so full of passion and desire to love and be loved.  A sensitive soul with an inquiring mind.  A creative genius who would one day think up ideas others never had, a child who would hear the whispers of Heaven and follow their trail toward greatness.  His eyes saw your unformed body and he mapped out your days in His book, even before any of them came about.

Then, in a secret place, when the time was perfect He began His work, His masterpiece.  He had planned everything to perfection.  He knew exactly what to do.  He knitted you together in my womb and spoke words of life, blessing and praise as He pondered over the joy you would one day bring, immeasurable, unquenchable joy to all around you.  He saw His work and beamed with pride at how wonderful you are, how fearfully and wonderfully you had been created.  He then spoke and said, “Her name must be Mila Grace, which means favoured one, covered by the unmerited favour of God.”  He then made a declaration over you that could never be broken and it was this:

” I have searched you Mila, and I know you, I will know when you sit and when you rise, I perceive all of your thoughts from afar.  I discern your going out and your lying down; I will be familiar with all of your ways.  Before a word is on your tongue, I will know it completely. I will draw you into me on every side and I will always have my hand upon you.  You can’t run away from my Spirit, my thoughts for you outnumber the grains of sand in all the universe.  I will search your heart and know you, I will create in you a pure heart and I will renew a steadfast spirit within you.  You are mine, I will never leave you.  Look to me, my radiant one and your face will never be covered with shame.  You will have choices to make.  I will set before you blessing and curses to choose, but CHOOSE LIFE.  As you make me your delight I will give you all the desires of your heart.  Ask of me and I will make the nations your inheritance, the ends of the earth your possession.  Anything you ask of me, according to my will will be granted.  The price has been paid in full, you are free.  I have called you for such a time as this so go, run free.  I will make your feet like the feet of a deer so that you may reach the very heights of all that I have to offer you.  Do not hold back, Be BOLD and very courageous. Do not be afraid, remember I am with you and I will never leave you nor forsake you.  My plans are to prosper you and not to harm you, they are yo give you a hope and a future.  You are mine.   Adventure with me Mila on this journey called life.  It will be wild it will be good.”

We love you more than words could ever express and we praise God for giving us the privilege of raising you as our daughter.  It is a job we do not take lightly.  We have dedicated you to Him and pray that you would always choose to run free in the paths of His commands, the paths that lead to a life of fullness and joy.

I will love you forever, unconditionally, immeasurably much.

Love Mom

The words of promise from God to us, are taken form the following scripture references: 

Psalm 139, Jeremiah 29:11, Deuteronomy 30:19, Psalm 37:4, Matthew 7:8, Acts 1:8, Psalm 2:8, Galatians 5:1, Esther 4:14, Psalm 18:33, Joshua 1:9, Deuteronomy 31:6
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Mila at only a few days old.  Pic’s taken by my beautiful friend Kristy Carlson.

Moist Chocolate Cake

| boncherry

As a part of my desire to spend dedicated quality time with Mila and Sam I have committed to baking with them as often as possible.  Last week we chose to make a delicious, moist chocolate birthday cake for my sister Chanelle who was inviting friend’s over for a birthday picnic.  Mila was away with my in-law’s in the Drakensberg (we stayed home because Dylan had to study) and so Chan and her boyfriend came over to bake with us.  It was so much fun!  Chan and Paul did most of the baking (Chan is an avid baker and Paul is a chef), Sam did most of the messing and I did most of the playing and snapping on my NIKON camera.

The recipe was found on Pinterest and I must say, the outcome was amazing.  The buttermilk and coffee used in this cake make it extremely moist and very decadent.  We then chose to make a ganache icing which was perfect.

Enjoy it… Below are some of the pic’s I took and remember, as Barney says “sharing is caring”.

MOIST CHOCOLATE CAKE
Author: Jennifer Hill
Prep time:  15 mins
Cook time:  35 mins
Total time:  50 mins
Serves: 12
Ingredients:
– 1¾ cups all purpose flour
– 2 cups granulated white sugar
– ¾ cup unsweetened cocoa powder
– 1½ tsp baking soda
– ¾ teaspoon salt
– 2 large eggs
– 1 cup buttermilk (or substitute by putting 1 tbsp white vinegar in a cup then filling the rest up with milk; let stand 5 minutes until thickened)
– ½ cup butter, melted
– 1 tbsp vanilla extract
– 1 cup hot coffee (or 2 tsp instant coffee in 1 cup boiling water)
Method:
  1. Preheat oven to 180 degrees celcius. Grease and flour two 22cm baking pans and set aside.
  2. In the large bowl of a standing mixer, stir together flour, sugar, cocoa, baking soda, and salt. Add eggs, buttermilk, melted butter and vanilla extract and beat until smooth (about 3 minutes). Remove bowl from mixer and stir in hot coffee with a rubber spatula. Batter will be very runny.
  3. Pour batter evenly between the two pans and bake on middle rack of oven for about 35 minutes, until toothpick inserted in centre comes out clean with just a few moist crumbs attached.
  4. Allow to cool 15 minutes in pans, then run a butter knife around the edges of each cake. Place a wire cooling rack over top of each pan. Wearing oven mitts, use both hands to hold the racks in place while flipping the cakes over onto the racks. Set the racks down and gently thump on the bottom of the pans until the cakes release. Cool completely before handling or icing.
Ganache Icing: (found on the Martha Stewart site)
Ingredients:
– 250 grams semisweet chocolate, finely chopped (I used Lindt)
– 1 1/2 cups heavy cream (I used woolies double cream)
Method:
Place chocolate in a medium bowl. Heat cream in a small saucepan until bubbles begin to appear around edges (scalding); pour over chocolate. Let stand 5 minutes, then stir until smooth. Set aside at room temperature until cool but pourable, stirring occasionally.
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Mom: A Toast To The Perfect You

| boncherry

It’s Mothers Day in South Africa today, Happy Mothers day to all the beautiful mom’s reading this blog! As I sat down to write my beautiful mother a card, a myriad of thoughts surrounding the woman that I desire to be started to flood my mind.  I began to think about the verse in the bible that speaks about “The Virtuous Woman”.  Proverbs 31 talks about the woman of noble character and is a detailed metaphor of feminine wisdom in the context of a family and a community.  This verse is a toast to woman, honouring us for who we already are in the sight of God.  This verse was never written to keep us held with a noose around our necks as we live lives comparing, striving and feeling like failures when we “don’t match up”.

The intention of this verse was never to re-affirm our insecurities and have us feeling unaccomplished as women.  We are covered by the grace and mercy of God through Jesus Christ who loves us and, through our frailty sees us as beautiful, perfect, worthy, whole.  Perhaps this verse was meant to be an ode to who we already are.  As we live out who we believe we already are in the sight of God we will be more and more virtuous.  I believe that who we say and feel we are is what we will become in reality.  There is power in the spoken word and our words are an overflow of our thoughts.

Taken from Proverbs 31, this is who I believe you are:

– You lack nothing of value and are far more precious than jewels.

– The heart of your husband trusts in you and he gains from you.   You are reliable and have his best interests at heart.  You are a blessing to your family. – You have willing hands and your worth is far more than the money you bring to the table.

–  You provide hope for your family and are generous to the poor.

–  You are clothed in strength and un-threatened by the strengths of other men or women around you.  You walk your own path and are not overcome by “comparing”.

–  You are not driven by fear and anxiety or worried about the safety of your family.  They are safe in Gods hands and He loves them even more than you do. –  You take care of your inner and outer beauty.  You take pride in your physical appearance because it is a reflection of the inner you.  You are beautiful in your own unique way.

–  You are clothed with strength and worthy of honour and respect.  You can be joyful and laugh at the days to come.  The future is bright.

–  You encourage others with wisdom and you are kind.  You do not gossip and slander those around you.

–  You look after your children and husband well, you are not lazy. –  You are imperfectly perfect.  You are beautiful.   You are you.  

My mom, far left.
My beautiful mom, far left.

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My mom is the hot biker chick, second from the right.
My mom is the hot biker chick, second from the right.  She is and always been a hard core woman of adventure.
My beautiful sister and mom
My beautiful sister and magnificent mom.  I just love them!!

Lemon cake and the love language of quality time.

| boncherry

I am sure you have all heard of Gary Chapman’s book “The Five Love Languages”, if not, I can highly recommend this read for anyone wishing to love with intention, in a way that speaks to the unique make-up of the individual you love.  Chapman’s book outlines five ways to express and experience love: gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, and physical touch.  Chapman uses the metaphor of a ‘love tank’ to explain peoples’ need to be loved.  To discover ones unique love language, one must observe the way your loved one expresses love to others, people tend to naturally give love in the way that they prefer to receive love.

Whilst I completely agree with Gary Chapman’s theory I truly believe that every child speaks or yearns to be spoken to in the love language of “quality time”.  I have noticed how Mila’s good behaviour diminishes when I am stressed and preoccupied.  When I am rushing from one meeting and task to the next and have not taken the time to engage with her, to talk and play with her, to look into her eyes and care for her emotional needs.  I am reminded of the saying, “if the devil cannot make you bad, he will make you busy”.  I have noticed that when I am too busy my tolerance levels toward my children become depleated.  It’s as if they call out through the whirlwind of life to be noticed, to be embraced.  Baking with a child is a time for imparting knowledge, giving affection and talking about life lessons.  Baking can be a time for thinking, breathing and being at peace.

So last Sunday we decided to bake a delicious LEMON CAKE.  This VERY simple and delicious recipe was passed on to me from my friend Janine Day who I am sure also received it from a friend, who received it from another friend.  It’s one of those recipe’s people will ask you to send to them.  The cake is so easy to make, its extremely moist and light.  Please feel free to share it with others as I share it with you today.  I hope you have as much fun baking it with your loved ones as I did.  This Sunday is my sister Chan’s birthday lunch and so we will be making a birthday cake on Saturday to eat on Sunday.

Here it goes…

LEMON CAKE

Ingredients:

-110 grams of Butter (room temperature)

-1 Cup of Castor Sugar

-2 Large Eggs (room temperature)

-1 and 1/2 cups of self raising flour

-1/2 cup of milk

-1/4 tsp salt

-Rind of Large Lemon

Method:

Cream butter and sugar and beat eggs in one at a time.

Beat well.  Sift flour and salt and add alternately with milk, add the lemon rind.

Pour into greased loaf tin and bake at 180 degrees for 40 minutes.

Remove the cake from the oven and place on a plate.  Pour over the juice.

The Juice:

1/2 Cup of castor sugar and 1/2 a cup of lemon juice.

Stir over heat to dissolve the sugar.

Pour over the hot cake and leave it to cool.

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To “three”, or not to “three”, that is the question-

| boncherry

As you may well know, “To be, or not to be… ” is the opening phrase of a soliloquy in William Shakespeare’s play Hamlet.  It is probably the most well-known lines of poetry Shakespeare ever wrote.  What Hamlet is reflecting on is the comparison between the pain of life (which he sees as inevitable), and the fearful uncertainty of death as he contemplates suicide.  This famous phrase came to mind after a long discussion with my parents over dinner regarding whether Dylan and I should have more than two children.  My dad’s words were, “if you are thinking of more, you are “mal”(mad in Afrikaans)”

I am one of five children and none of us were “mistakes”- my parents chose to have every one of us and I am so glad that they did!  My two brothers and two sister’s are a part of who I am, they are my story and were some of the tools God used to fashion me into the person I am today.  My siblings are my favourite people in the world, we have an unspoken loyalty to one another, an unbreakable bond.  My husband Dylan is one of four children and I know he feels the same way about his siblings.  There is strength in numbers and children add immeasurable joy and character, but in the same breadth, is life not a little different to how it was when our parents were having children 30-40 years ago?

The pace of life is extreme.  The cost of living is exorbitant and the pressure that is placed on children growing up in a digital age is relentless.  I feel as if it was christmas last week, but easter was already a month ago?  What is going on, am I dreaming?  Where is time going?  Everybody around me is talking about what type of passports they have and what their plan is should things really go “South” in SOUTH Africa.

The thought of how outside influences in this broken world will affect our children is enough to make people never want to have children, I have a few friends who feel this way and I can understand this point of view.  From xenophobia to thousands of people from Northern Africa floating in rubber duckies in the middle of the ocean searching for a better life, one feels depressed at the state of our world.  There is unemployment, poverty, the ANC and their myriad of false promises and insurmountable charges of corruption- this is just to name a few.

Negativity  is everywhere, but it’s nothing new and so surely we were meant to rise above it?   We cannot turn a blind eye but we have to be bigger, to choose not to be depressed and powerless as a result of it.  The time is coming and now is when people will stand up and speak up and do something significant.  I choose to believe in a God that has a bigger plan, a plan that is greater than what our minds can comprehend.  A plan that involves us and our children.

Isaiah 60 calls us to change our thinking and realise the impact we can make when we do.   I was inspired by these words.

“Arise and shine, for your light has come and the GLORY of the Lord rises upon you.  See, darkness covers the earth and thick darkness is over the peoples, but the Lord rises upon you and his glory appears over you.  Nations will come to your light, and kings to the brightness of your dawn.”

The bad in the world is everywhere but we are given the chance to be light, we are not meant to blend in with the darkness by being overwhelmed and overcome by it.  We are given the opportunity to “arise”, get up out of negative talk and shine.  Could we perhaps be God’s key to transformation in the nations of the world?  Perhaps it’s just a new perspective on the role that our families and our children play that will have us outshining the darkness and living lives of significance.

When a light is turned on in a dark room it infiltrates every crevice.  I want our story and presence to be that light so that maybe some of the darkness that surrounds us will become light and people who are affected by the pain and sorrow of life will be able to see again.

In conclusion you are probably wondering whether we will be having more than two children.  My heart say’s yes, but my head says “it’s hard”.  Logic tells me to play it safe.  Then the joy and pleasure of raising children and the thought of the love we will share and the impact a larger family can make makes me really want another.

Every person has their own road to walk, their own point of reference, their own resources (very important reality) and so this is a very personal question.  I just think that if we do choose to have children, whether one or five, our perspective and vision for our future ought to be right.  I believe we are put here for a very specific purpose, to bring light into the world and infiltrate the darkness, to raise children who will have a meaningful impact.

There was an amazing sunrise at home this morning and so when these little ones woke up we went outside to take a video… Enjoy.

See the video here:

https://youtu.be/L0z2ibq4qmw